A storm in a teacup!
"Mom, Dad, I want a kitten."
This sentence, or any sentence that includes a request for any type of pet, usually strikes you like a thunderbolt, shaking you like an earthquake, as if your child’s request is a figment of your imagination, as it had never crossed your mind.
At the same moment, automatically and without thinking, you start making excuses or distracting the child in his room full of toys, confident that this sudden request from your child is just a storm in a teacup!
Himalayas!
No, of course your child doesn't want to climb the Himalayas, but at five years old, he already knows all about cat breeds and collects pictures of them. He knows a Himalayan from a Siamese, a Persian, or a Ragdoll, or if he's walking with you on the street and sees a small dog, he says, "Husky." This simply means that your child's desire to own a pet is no longer a casual desire; it's on its way to becoming a passion, a demanding task for you, just as challenging as climbing the Himalayas is.
7 lives... and 4 impossibilities
No matter what type of pet your child asks for, whether it's a cat with nine lives or a cute little dog, your mind is locked into one sentence: "It is absolutely impossible to have any type of pet at home." There are many reasons for this, including:
1. Your general fear of taking on the responsibility of a new soul who doesn’t speak your language and whose needs you don’t know.
2. Your own fear of owning cats as pets, due to the controversy surrounding them.
3. Your fear of raising a dog at home.
4. Your fear for the order of the house and the safety of the furniture from cat claws and dog bites.
5. Your fear of allergies that pets may cause.
6. Your fear of your child being sad if he loses this type of pet.
If the reason is known, the wonder is gone
Your concerns are certainly valid. Fear is always the first and only obstacle to achieving what we want or what our children want, especially when it comes to a strange creature, such as a pet. However, before acknowledging that these fears are real, let's think a little: Why did my child ask for a pet in the first place? Understanding how your child thinks will help you make the right decision and handle the situation healthily.
There is a balance between our fears and our children's desires for what we should achieve for them. There are reasons for the fear of having a pet at home that we may not think about much, but because of your many fears, you may be creating a selfish child without realizing it. This is what we will complete by learning about the "Puff" effect.
Puff effect
Our children's fascination with animals often begins at an early age. Before they are even one year old, babies love to recognize different animal sounds, then are drawn to their colorful feathers, rich fur, or soft skin. They learn about different types of touch when they have the opportunity to touch them.
Animals truly live up to their name. The life that pulsates within these beautiful creatures is a fascinating resource for young children. They are a natural source of discovery and early learning. Animals are an entire world that contains secrets and treasures that children want to uncover.
But what does this have to do with the PAF effect? What is it?
In a 2019 study at the Centre for Child, Adolescent and Animal Research at the University of Edinburgh, Dr. Hal Herzog investigated the Puff effect. He was intrigued by the song "Puff the Magical Dragon," which tells the story of a child who befriends the dragon Puff, and they spend their days fighting pirates, sailing imaginary ships across the oceans, and having other exciting adventures together.
One night, the boy wakes up to find that his interests have changed. He is no longer a child, and his toy box has changed. It wasn't just his toys that he abandoned, but also his favorite dragon, his childhood companion.
The song ends sadly, as the child grows up loving Puff, but Puff sheds his pointy scales one by one as he tries to attract the attention of the child, or boy as he has become, and then retreats into his cave forever when he finds no use for it.
Then Dr. Hall conducted a scale to study the extent of children's attachment to animals in general, and to their pets in particular. He found that in early childhood, from a few months until the age of 11, children feel at ease with their animals around them. They talk to each other, and a young child may feel lonely and isolated when his animal is away from him. These bonds even increase at the ages of 9 and 10.
What was really striking was the gradual distancing of children from their animals between the ages of 11 and 15, and the biggest surprise was that this distancing from loving animals was equal for girls and boys.
Another Australian study confirmed a shocking 75% of pets abandoned by their child owners. Abandonment here means the animal remains in the home, but the child does not pay any attention to it. Meanwhile, 25% of children were loving and caring toward their pets, and even developed a stronger attachment to them.
But what are the reasons for this sudden estrangement or distancing? Is it solely due to what researchers have discovered—that the main reason is that the child, or boys or girls, are drawn to their peers and new world instead of their families and their world? Indeed, this is one reason, but there are stronger reasons and motivations that might make your child behave like the child in the story "Puff."
Buff and my baby?
Do we remember our many fears and anxieties about our children getting a pet? Without realizing it, these fears can produce a selfish child who thinks only of himself. Our actions in every situation can negatively, and subconsciously, contribute to our children's awareness and behavior toward pets. We must ask ourselves: How did we deal with our fears?
Have you tried to distract your child with a substitute doll, such as a teddy bear, rabbit, or other lifeless toy, just because it feels like a pet, and pointed out that this toy is a replacement for the animal he asked for?
If your answer is “yes,” you have conveyed to your child that an animal is just a toy or a doll, without feelings or a soul. The opposite is true, as animals do not speak and do not have a language, but they are emotional, with feelings and a psychology that is affected by the love of those around them, making them happy or frustrated. Having an animal in the house is never equal to having a soft, stuffed doll for your child to cuddle at night.
Have you ever looked for a friend or family member who has a pet and visited them frequently? If your answer is "yes," you have subconsciously sent your child a message of lack of belonging. By leaving the pet at a friend's house too often, the child will no longer feel a sense of belonging and love toward the animal. Instead, they will become accustomed to leaving it behind, and this will likely continue if they acquire their own pet.
The third question is: Have you ever given your child an electronic game starring an animal? If your answer is "yes," the mistake is doubly wrong for several reasons, including that the screen through which your child interacts with a virtual animal is harmful, gradually making them lose the ability to interact with the real world. The electronic game also falsely satisfies your child's desire to own a pet, making them feel like the animal is just a mechanical drawing that they can control as they please.
How do I behave?
When we act with simplicity and honesty, everything is resolved. A child's mind is aware and able to understand the signals we give it. When our children ask for a pet, it's best to sit with them and read to them about animals. We explain to them that having an animal living with us in the home is a responsibility. They feel, love, and want someone to care for them just like us. We should show them that animals are mentioned in the holy books and recommended by the prophets. This sends a positive message to the child, encouraging them to think carefully before making their decision.
As for visiting loved ones, it's a wonderful opportunity to raise a very important idea: that animals are not just a means of entertainment when you're bored. It's nice to praise the way owners care for their pets, and to see them as companions throughout their lives.
Changing your reaction to a situation can really change everything, even with an electronic game. By choosing a game that has an educational purpose about animals, you will develop your child's human skills in interacting with others.
After mutual discussions between you and your child, and after a joint decision and discussion of the pros and cons of having a pet at home, we begin to monitor our children's readiness to welcome a new animal into the home.
1. Choosing a suitable animal for the child is a family decision. Someone who loves dogs will love cats, fish, birds, and turtles. All we have to do is sit together and choose what suits our lifestyle.
2. To be just as ready as your child to accept the life of a new spirit with you in the home, and that this spirit deserves love and care.
3. Discover the animal world that will share your life, just as your new animal will discover you and your personalities.
From the "Buff" effect to the "Good" effect
Finally, you have welcomed the new member, and whether it is a bird or a cat, a dog or a fish, even a hamster or a turtle, it has come with a good influence.
The "Pav" effect of vision and choices dissipated after consultations, on the one hand, and the "good" effect began to take hold, on the other. Some studies have proven the opposite of what we expected: pets have a profoundly positive impact on our children's physical and psychological health. They increase levels of dopamine and oxytocin, due to the feelings we feel when we care for one of them and the sense of responsibility we feel toward them.
Let's watch our children interact with their pets. They play together, talk together, and read together, just like in the famous video of a little girl reading a story about a dog. By coincidence, the dog looks just like her real dog, and she insists on waking it up to say, "Look, that's you." This is the joy our children feel, and the lasting impact pets leave; our children develop a sense of love and compassion.
This was evident in the story "My Hands," in which the hero expressed the compassion that drove him to carry a wounded bird, feed the fish, or water a thirsty dog. This compassion toward other creatures is what makes our children normal, considerate people.
The goodness lies not only in the feelings of compassion that raising a pet will generate, but also in the companionship. A cute, mischievous cat like Delta will fill the house with plans and ideas, and will change our view of things in a different way. It may even lead to the discovery of a new dinosaur.
As for the tortoise, this little creature who loves lettuce leaves, while Nana loves cutting them to surprise her grandfather during Mohamed Salah's match, she brings a special kind of joy. The tortoise gives us the opportunity to observe, scrutinize, and be patient, and teaches our children that no matter how small our shields are, they are strong enough to protect us.
As for the journey of "Khubeiza", the little dog, it carries with it different colors of love and goodness. From the butterflies and kisses that his mother brings him, we see the journey of maturing the character of the little dog, who remains good within him no matter what evil or hardship he encounters.
Is your child now 13 and still interested in their pet? You can remember those moments when you helped them move away from selfishness and the influence of "Puff," and together you reached the influence of good. This is the world that excites your child from an early age, and wherever you direct them, they go.
Let's talk to our children about getting the right pet in a way that supports their personalities, nurtures their goodness, and protects them from the negative influence of "Puff."
